this hybrid memoir begins at the end of the narrator’s marriage and traces their search for a self no longer defined by their beloved.

written in the wake of gut-shattering grief, the book mimics what loss does to time: it fragments and warps. the book is made of short philosophical essays, drunken note app rants (“WHATEVER!”), heartbreak poems, crush diaries (“i met HER”), shopping lists (“i go to ikea to save my life”), one-line chapters, and script excerpts. it’s a patchwork of form and feeling.

by turns bitter, funny, and raw, the narrator exposes their underbelly, feeling their way through breakup, queerness, aloneness, and the utter disorientation of staying alive. at its core, the book is about becoming full again and the journey from heartbreak to a new kind of love – not romantic love, per se, but the one that includes more than just the beloved.

currently in progress.